Today’s news cycle has been positively FULL of men named Paul. If you, like me, are old and/or suffer amnesia about minor internet celebrities that don’t matter, you’ve perhaps been feeling a bit disoriented!
Do NOT fear. I’ve created a helpful resource to all the most iconic Pauls—everyone who is, was, or ever might again be newsworthy.
Logan Paul
The 22-year-old YouTube star became our man of the hour when he uploaded footage of a dead body he and his merry band of adventurers apparently stumbled upon in Japan’s “suicide forest.” Paul later apologized for posting “a moment in YouTube history,” of course ending the note with a moment of branding: #Logang4Life.
vlogger/bad man
Jake Paul
He’s Logan’s younger brother, most famous outside of the vlogosphere for turning his upper middle class neighborhood into “a warzone” for the likes. The 20-year-old former Disney TV star and sometimes-rapper, who has a combined total of some 17 million followers on Instagram and YouTube, recently hosted pop-up shops in Los Angeles and New York City, where he palled around with tween girls while tickets for entry were sold by scalpers for hundreds of dollars.
vlogger/neighborhood nightmare
Aaron Paul
Remember the good show Breaking Bad? This Paul is best known for playing played Jesse, Walter White’s increasingly tragic sidekick. Although he’s not related to either of the aforementioned Pauls, he waded into today’s drama, addressing Logan through TMZ: “Go rot in hell.”
actor
Ron Paul
Crabby libertarian and former U.S. Representative from Texas who ran unsuccessful campaigns for the White House in 2008 and 2012. He now makes informercials warning of an “epic” currency crisis that’s apparently just around the corner.
Former politican
Rand Paul
Ron Paul’s son, who shares his father’s talent for failed presidential bids. The senator from Kentucky most recently grabbed headlines for getting the shit beat out of him by his next door neighbor in Bowling Green, KY. Depending on who you believe, the attack was prompted by Paul’s poor lawn care, or perhaps a matter even more “trivial.” We may never know!
politician
RuPaul
While technically born RuPaul Andre Charles, the mononymous drag queen/entrepreneur/TV personality/model/singer is head and shoulders above all the other Pauls on this list and therefore wouldn’t even have been included but for the fact that I love him.
icon
Sean Paul
The Jamaican singer and record producer best known for the smash hit “Temperature,” a song which was inescapable during the mid-2000s.
singer
Henri Paul
The driver and head of security blamed by some for Princess Diana’s death by car crash in 1997. Many conspiracy theories have circulated about this Paul’s role in the crash, but investigations found he was driving the Mercedes S280 recklessly and under the influence of prescription drugs and alcohol.
driver
Pope John Paul II
The second-longest serving Pope in modern history before his death in 2005, Pope John Paul II (birth name: Karol Józef Wojtyła) isn’t related to any of the above Pauls, but just think about the sick-ass R.I.P vid the Paul brothers would’ve made in his honor.
Pope
(All images via Getty, except Henri Paul, which is via AP.)
Correction: This post originally said Ron Paul was a congressman from Kentucky, not Texas.