jackmirkinson
Jack Mirkinson
jackmirkinson
Deputy Editor, Splinter

Here is my review of the new “horror” film Suspiria, which lands in theaters across America today: More like SUCKSpiria!!! Seriously, this movie is way too long and full of itself. It tries desperately to say something but ultimately says nothing. AND it’s not even that scary. A must-miss! Read more

In today’s edition of Grasping For Anything That Could Be Considered Good News: The world’s as fucked up as it could possibly be, but at least this colon is back where it belongs!!! Read more

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Hey, it’s the rare “go vote” video that’s not a parade of lame celebrities and doesn’t make you want to claw your eyes out in embarrassment. Who knew such miracles were possible?

Stephen Miller’s third-grade teacher has been suspended from her Santa Monica teaching job for talking about how the junior fascist used to eat glue. (Her bosses said they weren’t cool with “her release of student information.”) This is another silencing of a powerful voice of resistance. Free the Santa Monica One! Read more

Sometimes you just want a huge wave to wash over you and take you out to sea forever. Read more