I’ve worked in mental health for 14 years. I can say with a degree of certainty... my clients are tired of being used as a scapegoat for gun violence. Read more

Are you saying the pictures I take of my penis are actually composites of the penises a computer thinks I would enjoy Read more

Hi Millennials, Read more

George Stillfucksalottapuss
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He already has a date lined up

According to New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams, women are throwing themselves at the mere thought of Rudy Giuliani, a man who doesn’t know how to insert AirPods in his ears. Adams writes: Read more

Always remember to spay and neuter your pets, America. This is why we can’t have nice things!
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The about-to-be-consciously uncoupled Rudy Giuliani is coming off to Upper East Side sex kittens like catnip. They’re purring at him. Sidling — if not actually front-ling — in his direction. Read more

Can you imagine this guy grunting and sweating on top of you?

Great, now I remember this monstrosity. That’s time I’ll never have back.

This president is having problems with someone named Stormy so he hires someone named Sunshine?

As an FYI- The NRA is also against mandatory training to purchase a gun, trigger lock (or other responsible storage) laws, parental liability laws, etc. Read more

“Hey kids!”
“EDDIE!”
“What do we do if we find a gun?”
“Take it and hide it, so the repressive, liberal government can’t overthrow an unarmed populace!”
“That’s right! And when we meet a police officer, what do we ask?!”
“Am I being detained?!”
“Great job!” Read more

Or, you know, and I’m just spitballing here, let’s have like way less guns around. Read more

Marginally better than my campaign starring Barry the “Don’t Shoot Your Wife” Beagle. Read more

No thanks! 30 seconds were enough. I know the answer is “Because this is reality now” but why is the head of the Trump Organization stumping for a candidate when his only political “talent” is moaning on Twitter? Read more

I think it’s pretty obvious why he’s so excited. He can only get two scoops when daddy isn’t there.

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This campaign stump also gave us a wonderful new shot of Fredo.

#ThatTimeWhen Ari asked her if she was a Clueless person or a Legally Blonde person, and she answered “I’m a Clueless person”, and Ari just let it hang …