With Zika spreading rapidly throughout Latin America, a region with some of the most draconian and backwards abortion laws in the world, Valentine's Day this year could be an occasion for cautious romancing.
That's because the governments that are most adamant about urging women to avoid pregnancy (I'm looking at you, El Salvador 😳) are doing the least to guarantee sexual and reproductive rights, especially when it comes to providing access to legal and safe abortions. Costa Rica this week said that Zika is not grounds for therapeutic abortion. And that's from the most progressive country in Central America! Other countries are even less likely to relax restrictions on reproductive rights.
With the onus of Zika falling almost entirely on women, clearly Valentine's Day is the perfect moment to tell that special woman in your life that she can count on your support. Here are some last-minute internet gift ideas from folks who are trying to profit from the Zika scare.
Tobacco leaf extensions
These stylish tobacco leaf extensions make a perfect accessory for that fashionable yet environmentally conscious woman in your life. The leaves clip easily to the back of her baseball cap as natural way to repel mosquitoes and attract attention from admirers. This gift becomes especially handy when you run out of rolling papers, or things to talk about with strangers.
Keep doggie safe
You love her, but she loves him. Keep doggie safe with this slim-fit puppy shirt made from a "lightweight fabric in a sporty design." It guarantees to "repel mosquitoes that may carry Zika virus." Plus, it's also available in orange, for dogs with an autumn palette.
Communing with nature
Tell her you love her, but also respect her space, with this backyard mosquito tent for one.
Be a prince, buy her a frog
Following reports that the type of mosquito that transmits Zika is showing resistance to fumigation, some people in Argentina have started selling pet frogs to protect your house by eating pesky Aedes aegypti. Selling and renting frogs is a tried-and-true method for fighting mosquitoes in Latin America. So hop to it!
Get your Zika Feaka on
Tell the world that you have a strong but slightly confused opinion about terrorism, Zika, and fashion. And then be the first to review this item for others, since apparently nobody else has bought one.
Go batty
Bats are our friends and allies in the war on Zika. Plus, they're cute and cuddly and make the perfect Valentine's Day gift.
Lazy Sunday Zikawear
It's Sunday. You want to relax around the house. But you're mindful of the Zika threat and want to protect the legs of loved ones. Kick back in these trendy and "extremely rare" Zika virus pandemic sweatpants. Made for him, but stylishly designed for her.
Gear Head protector
Is your wife always tinkering under the hood of that '74 Challenger, but recently she's afraid to go out into the garage because of Zika? You know that old muscle car will probably never run again, but you don't want her to give up hope (MOPAR or No Car!). So buy her this garage door mosquito curtain mesh magnetic, and keep your marriage purring like a Hemi V8.
Trust but verify
This Zika virus ELISA kit will let you test each other for Zika in the privacy of your own home. Unfortunately, it's currently unavailable. But check back later.
Freeze-dried Zika virus
Protect your household with a freeze-dried version of the real thing. Because the only way to stop a bad guy with Zika is with a good guy with Zika.