Trump Huddles With Experts Over Shutdown Deal (Just Kidding It's Sean Hannity)

Congressional negotiators have finished hammering out a budget deal to prevent another government shutdown. The deal, among other things, drastically reduces the amount of money President Donald Trump wanted for a border wall, but Trump has reportedly been busy yakking with expert advisers on how he can swallow it without looking like a total doofus. Unfortunately, those advisers are some of cable TV’s biggest dipshits.

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Here, from the New York Times, is who the president has apparently been listening to (emphasis mine):

One call was made to Lou Dobbs, a favorite of Mr. Trump’s whose Fox Business Network show he often tries to catch live. Another was placed to Sean Hannity, the Fox host who regularly talks with the president. The message: Mr. Trump deserved support because he still forced concessions that he would never have gotten without a five-week partial government shutdown.

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It probably shouldn’t come as a total shock that the president is spending his time polling racist, conspiracy theory-enabling trashmen rather than, I dunno, doing literally anything else. This is what he does: obsess over optics by listening to Fox News personalities, and then regurgitating their platitudes after he watches them during his morning constitutionals. Of course he’s turning to his trusty team of professional talking heads for advice on how, exactly, to eat crow. After all, if anyone knows how to polish a turd ‘til it shines, it’s Hannity and Dobbs.