thanks man, good advice. i will not further attempt to pay my rent. Read more

I’m proud of that lil guy Read more

welcome to online Read more

buddy why do you think i quit

no spicy nuggets, no peace Read more

i was extremely owned by dasharez0ne Read more

Here’s the reality of survival under capitalism: I applied for upwards of 100 jobs after I graduated from college with a journalism degree. I couldn’t even get a seasonal cashier position at the mall. That’s how I ended up in marketing. Do I feel bad about it? Sure, it’s not what I’d hoped for. But I’m not $12,000 in… Read more

THANK’S Read more

thank’s Read more

WAIT but Taylor Swift also dated Joe Jonas. What implications does this have for her giant lady squad if one of them is dating her ex??? Why do I care so much??? Read more

wait are there really multiple styles of jeans for babies? what a world. Read more

If only. Read more

I also lost my virginity to a juggalo. The movie "Chicago" was on in the background. Read more

I am easily duped. I only recently figured out that models are wearing fake eyelashes in mascara commercials, if that tells you anything. Read more

So...you mean...there's really no hope that I can make my hair that voluminous? My world is shattered. I don't know if I can get out of bed today. Read more

I get migraines with aura (lights look weird, noises sound strange) and have ended up at urgent care on more than one occasion just to make sure I'm not actually dying this time. They can also give you a shot of really strong painkillers, so perhaps he went for that considering he still managed to perform. Read more

my friend and her boyfriend once ate an entire pan of weed brownies, hallucinated, and then stayed high for a day and a half. I could have warned you, Maureen. Read more

I was almost Rosemary. I don't know why my mom changed her mind, but I'm assuming it's because at some point after getting pregnant she stopped smoking weed and was like "Whoa, no." Read more

I use Dove shampoo and conditioner because it comes in a giant, cheap-ass bottle at Costco. Read more

You got my hopes up, so I went to Pinterest and found zero butts. Pretty disappointed over here. The butts must have come and gone while I was slumbering. Read more